Commitment

Tomorrow morning a mother will walk into her little girl's room and nudge her gently until she hops out of bed. The little girl will put on her shoes and dress, slide on her princess backpack, and board the school bus. She'll turn in her homework and smile when her teachers says, "Good job!", knowing she's committed to doing her best.

Silver France Crown Charm
Hint

A few years from now that same girl, a little older, will roll out of bed, throw on some jeans and flip-flops and tote a slightly heavier backpack to class. She'll deliver her presentation on the latest theory of education and smile when she gets an A, committed to helping every child learn.

Handmade Miniature Book Pendant
Peaseblossomstudio

A few years after that the girl, now a woman, will wake up with her alarm and sip coffee while putting on black pants and comfortable shoes. She'll pick up a canvas tote bag full of graded papers and head to her classroom, committed to changing the world, one student at a time.

Lady in Profile Cameo
AUNALIAArtisanMetal

Even further down the road, the woman will wake up rubbing her swollen belly and listen to her husband sip coffee while getting ready for work. She'll get up and pour a bowl of cereal and skip the coffee, committed to making sure she has a healthy baby.

Porcelain Artichoke Baby
Bumblebead

Nine months later, the new mother will wake to the sound of a crying little girl. She'll pick up the baby, not much heavier than her first princess backpack and rock her gently back to sleep.

Bring You My Love Pendant
Gaea

She'll look into the little girl's eyes and realize that she's come full circle and that this is the greatest commitment she'll ever make. The commitment to teach another what commitment really means, how it affects everyone around you, and that it can change the world...one commitment at a time.

Anticipation

It's been almost four years since that night on the beach when, with ring in hand, he asked, "Will you..?" and I said I would.

Starfish Pendant by Humblebeads

I had a plan. My life would be predictable. Job would follow college, marriage would follow job, kids would follow marriage. There would be no surprises and life would throw me no curve balls. That's me. I like a plan.

Boys Baseball Locket by Surfing Silver

But I have found that there are things more important in life than the houses we build and the plans we make. Sometimes when it comes to our lives, someone else has need of them and a dream fulfilled can sometimes become a dream deferred.
And so the first year was spent apart while degree and university dictated the plan.

Alabama by bethtastic

The second was spent creating a home for my sister here, close to our hearts where we've welcomed my niece and nephews.

You Are My Home by Mamacita Beadworks

The third year was spent learning to fill in the gaps that were left when my father set sail for a new place and a different part of the world.

Desert Heart by Gardanne Beads

And this year I have spent too many days at a hospital, welcoming a new heart into my world and caring for one that has spent itself caring for me.

Damask Bronze Heart Pendant by dreamgirlbeads

I've come to realize that I don't notice the anticipation so much anymore. Oh, it hasn't gone away. It's still at the back of my mind or maybe my heart, but I am learning that there is also something good in the waiting. Something to be learned that cannot be learned in instant gratification.

Tree of Life Pendant by sweetrockcandybeads
That is that life does not begin to be lived in that moment over there, rather it has already begun to be lived in this moment here. If I wait until the moment when our lives were supposed to have begun, I will have missed all the moments of beginning that were found somewhere in between. Moments that will never come again.

And so I wait, with joy and anticipation, the beginning of a new thing and the fulfillment of that dream. I do not know what the next year will bring, but I am positive that the time in between is not wasted. I am positive that when the waiting is over, I will step into that part of my life having learned a lesson that could only have been learned in the anticipation.

Beginnings

The task is to write about beginnings, but its hard when the world is asleep. I look outside and see the mark that winter has left on the earth....the crunchy, brown grass, the trees that have forfeited their leaves to the winter wind, the bare wisteria vine that clings to the side of the house. Nature does not speak of beginnings just now.

Tree of Life Pendant from ccvalenzo

Just now, we are far from the green trees that spread their leaves in summer and offer shade to the hottest parts of the yard. The insects and animals have gone into hiding to escape the cold and I miss the birds and the butterflies. We still see the occasional deer but not nearly as often and only one or two instead of the families of six that normally roam the woods.

Stoneware Butterfly Pendant from Every Heart Crafts

All of life seems hidden, waiting for that perfect moment when the cycle can begin anew and things can start to live and breathe again. The moment when the earth is tired of being dead and instead starts to bring forth life.

Acorn Bead from Loriola

But even as I sit and write this, I feel overwhelmed with the enormity of life. I'm up and awake and going through my normal routine, but across town in a hospital bed my sister is cuddling a brand new baby, a beginning while the world is in the middle of all its endings. It still seems surreal.

Sweetest Little Birdnest Pottery Pendant by SweetPea Cottage

I am wondering where in the world I'm going to put him in my heart. His older brother and sister have already taken permanent residence, and so now I scoot them over just a little to squeeze in a third. And, of course, I think about the future...what will I do when I have my own?! How many can a heart truly hold? I mean, truly...not friends or family who pass in and out of your life, but the people who will be there forever, who will stand around you when you are old and care for you when you can no longer do it.

Good Morning Butterfly Pendant by toofabulous

So, today, I am thinking about life and about cocoons opening to reveal their secrets while the rest of the world is asleep. Yesterday was a beginning right in the middle of all these endings, and I'm looking forward to it.
There's a certain uncertainty about the whole thing, a certain fear and curiosity that comes with not knowing, not knowing what the future will bring, or what tomorrow will hold. But then again, I think, maybe, that that is what beginnings are for.